Telling isn't selling!

I am a myth buster.

You won't see me on Discovery Channel though, well not yet anyway. You will hear me busting the "myth of selling" through my classes, my writing and when you meet me. This is my goal: to change the way people sell. Selling is an amazingly creative and fun process and that is what I want to impress upon you. Not only that, the art of sales is the art of clear communication, listening and relationship building. Learning this has changed my life and the lives of those I "sell with" and it can change yours as well!


People think selling is about pushing your product or service on your client or prospect. Others still think that it is about telling their story, sharing about how their product or service has changed their life. It isn't. Selling is so much more. Selling is about building relationships and discovering who your prospect is as a human being. Beyond that, selling will help you to discover who YOU ARE as a human being. If you follow my Equation for Success: VISION + VALUE + KNOWLEDGE + TOOLS = SUCCESS you will understand your own VALUE as a human being and this will transform you in ways you wouldn't imagine. The art of sales is a collaborative process. In this process we learn about ourselves, about our prospects and we build strong relationships with ourselves and our prospects!

Think about it, you go to a networking group and share your story. What happens if the person you share your story with has a different story? The person you are speaking with might not have the same problem you had and you could easily lose them right here. You can start over, and start building from that place, but it will be six times harder to build this relationship because you haven't established trust.


Many companies teach their sales people to "share" their story to bond with potential customers and clients. I am the first to tell you that this is a myth. Telling isn't selling. Discovering is selling! Learn about your prospect first and then selectively share your story when appropriate. Be yourself and reach out to ask about your prospect and learn about them. Don't make the sale the primary goal, make learning about your prospect's needs the primary goal and you will make the sale.


If you don't make the sale, you will build a relationship and this will lead to a sale down the road or a referral and a bigger sale. Trust the selling process and have fun with it, don't push.


Selling can be transformative if you allow yourself to embrace the process. If you are connected to your VISION you will feel the passion that drives you and so will everyone you reach out to. What about your VALUE? I mean your VALUE beyond your product or service. When you understand your intrinsic VALUE and reach out to people grounded in this understanding you reach out in a powerful way.

This is a powerful place to visit, your intrinsic VALUE as a human being and why you are special. When you are able to truly appreciate your own VALUE then you easily lead by example. People are drawn to you and you can easily build powerful relationships with others, because you have built a powerful relationship with yourself. KNOWLEDGE is your bridge to your prospects and clients. When you add in the TOOLS you can only WIN! Selling becomes bridge building because we are touching people in a way that lets them know we care.


I believe that we can change the way people do business. Selling becomes a way of connecting that shows our clients or prospects we care about them, not only about the sale. We don't tell our story but we listen to theirs. We just relate to them as human beings and we offer them our presence and our clear communication. We don't tell them our story until they ask and they will. So, selling becomes so much more than just telling!

I would love to hear from you!

Reach out to me and tell me your stories and share your thoughts about the selling process and I can share them with my readers: carolyn@essentialselling.com

How's Your Retention Rate?

I read an interesting article this morning about Twitter and retention statistics.

The article explained that after someone joins Twitter, that person might not come back for a whole month.

It got me to thinking. All these social media sites need to keep their users interested and coming back for more. With all the competition of Facebook, Myspace, Twitter and other sites popping up every day, the big question becomes: How do you keep someone interested?

This should be a question that you are asking yourself as you reach out to “sell” in the marketplace. Because, as we know if you have been following my blog, we ALL sell no matter what!

So, how do you keep your customers interested? How do you keep your customers loyal? How do you keep your customers?

Here are some tips that will help answer this very important question:

Remember you are building a relationship.

Selling is relationship building. People like to do business with people they trust and they like. Let your prospect know you care by asking questions to understand how you can help and answer a need. You can’t answer a need though if you don’t know what it is, so ask questions to uncover that need and THEN offer your solution. This builds trust and let’s your prospect know you care.

Keep reaching out:

Selling is about connecting and connecting and connecting. You can’t just reach out once and expect to make a sale. It does happen and when it does it’s great, but it is rare. What you need to do is keep reaching out to your prospects AND your current clients to continue to learn more and more. This takes discipline, organization and a great system. You need to have this in place so you can continue to keep in touch. In sales absence does NOT make the heart grow fonder.

Be unique:

What do you have that is original and different from your competitor. What is your brand? What is special about what you have to offer? In some cases, it could just be YOU. That is ok, take advantage of you. If you reach out from a place of confidence, power and good intentions, this will ring true for your prospects and clients. You will notice that more and more your prospects and clients will be drawn to you because you are genuine. You don’t have to push, just be yourself.

Use the phone:

You can build a relationship on the phone and selling is building relationships. So, use the phone. Reach out to people and differentiate yourself from your competition. Don’t just send an email or even a letter. Say hello, and build a relationship on the phone and in person!



I don’t know how Twitter will keep people interested. I do know how we can; by reaching out on the phone and in person, with the intention to be “of service”. This is what can make all the difference in a market flooded by social media, e-zines, newsletters, email marketing, voice broadcasting and tweets.

For more on how to reach out from a place of power and confidence, to anyone on the phone and in person visit my website and sign up for my next course: Essential Selling’s Cold Calling Wealth Building Technology™. www.essentialselling.com carolyn@essentialselling.com